so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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