Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think I sprained my soul last night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
