Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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