Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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