Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
