The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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