that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
