me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
