we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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