I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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