I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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