The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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