Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
