if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
