I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
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I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
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If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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