i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize