what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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