Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Randomize