3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
