Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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