You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
