if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
