Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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