Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
