The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I wear drunk well.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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