He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
