Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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