Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
