theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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