just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
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my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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