This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
