On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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