You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
