i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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