I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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