I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
