I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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