He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
