Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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