Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
whose ass print is on the piano?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
