no, he came in my armpit
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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