Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
