I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
