3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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