Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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