I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
