After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
