I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
