I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
