if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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