I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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