Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Four minutes until I can fart!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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