No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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