its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
