chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
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As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
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you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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