so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
