wrigley field is MILF paradise
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
