Walk of Shame. In a state park.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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