No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
