No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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