And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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